Friday, February 06, 2009

Everything He Needs to Know...

In the spirit of Facebook's "25 random things" and in the ancient Robert Fulgum wisdom of kindergarten, I offer you the wisdom of a boy and his reluctant cat.

10. Cats do not like pacifiers. Ever.

9. You cannot and should not make numbers lowercase by writing them backwards. All that does is make mom visit the teacher.

8. You can't get out of homework by throwing yourself on the kitchen floor and faking sleep.

7. Pruning Mommy's plants with safety scissors means a very early bedtime.

6. Fuzz the Cat will run at the first sign of a hair dryer.

5. Lunch ladies get upset when you and your friend hit each other with your lunch boxes.

4. Soft-sided lunch boxes are not to boxing gloves.

3. No one thinks that making (stuffed) "pets" fly down the steps is funny.

2. (Note to self: Don't make pets fly when someone is at the bottom of the steps.)

1. You won't get in trouble if you don't try to give Fuzz a bath.

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